Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Merry Christmas

Dear Cadee,

It's so hard to believe Christmas is almost here. I wonder what you asked Santa for this year? What are you hoping to find under your Christmas tree? I wish I could be there to help share your fun, and see your face light up as you open your presents. I wish that I could see you to give you your presents. This year, instead of adding to the pile of unopened presents that I have accumulated for you over the years, I bought presents for a family  who are unable to afford Christmas, in your name. There are 2 little boys in this family, aged 8 and 14 months. I added some goodies to their food hamper, and bought some pj's and a toy for each of the boys. Thank you Cadee, for helping to make their Christmas special.

Here you are on your very first Christmas with Daddy - your Uncle Alex sent you that cute little outfit all the way from Australia!

Merry Christmas Cadee!!

Love you forever, 
Nan xxx

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

In The Beginning

Dear Cadee,

Once upon a time, your Mommy and Daddy loved each other very much, and lived together as husband and wife. Alas, they were both very young, and after a while, they began to quarrel, and finally went their separate ways. A short time later, Mommy told Daddy that she was carrying his child. Daddy was ecstatic, and could barely wait for the day you would be born. However, he was still unable to bring himself to move back into the same house as Mommy, because their constant quarreling would not be good for the child (you), that Mommy was carrying inside of her.

Grumpy and I were also very excited to become grandparents for the first time, and looked forward to meeting you for the first time. We learned of the good news in June, 2008. Mommy told us you were expected to arrive on February 28, 2009. In December 2008, we watched in wonder as you squirmed inside Mommy's womb, when she had an ultrasound done. We learned that you were going to be a little girl, and were tickled pink. I also remember thinking you looked a little bit small for a baby who was due to arrive in a few months, and then thought this was just the way the image looked on screen.

Look how perfect your little feet were
February 28 came and went, and you did not arrive. Babies are often a little bit late. Another week went by, and still you did not arrive. Wow, we were getting so excited to meet you. A second week went by, and we continued to wait excitedly. A third week went by, and you were still snuggled inside your Mommy. I was very concerned, because babies are not meant to cook for that long, and the doctors usually give a mommy medicine to help the baby arrive safely at this point.  Finally, on March 25, almost a month later, we learned Mommy had gone to the hospital, and you were born that evening, with Daddy by your Mommy's side.

I couldn't wait to go and meet you the next morning. I expected to meet a chubby, wrinkly little baby, with dry, cracked skin, and very long fingernails. You see, I am a nurse, and have helped deliver many babies, and this is how they look when they've been snuggled inside their mommies for too long. But you didn't have any of those features. You were perfect, just perfect. You were not overly chubby, and your skin was so soft and smooth. You were not over cooked at all. In fact, you looked like you had arrived a week or two early. Did I mention you were absolutely perfect! I'm still not sure why the dates were so mixed up.  Perhaps Mommy can answer that for you.

Here you are meeting Nan and Aunty Dez for the first time in the hospital. And there's Grumpy holding you when you came to visit us at home one time.

Here's Daddy holding you when you first came home from the hospital - you can see he is full of love for you

Look how your tiny little head fits perfectly into Daddy's hand
Love you forever,
Nan xx

Thursday, October 31, 2013

You're Spooktacular

Dear Cadee,

Today is Halloween. I'm watching all the children in the school yard outside my window, and they are all dressed up like ghosts and goblins and monsters and princesses too. I am wondering what costume you're wearing today. Are you being scary? Or are you being pretty and magical? If that's the case, you don't need to dress up at all, because you're already both of those. What are your favorite treats? Do you go trick or treating to the neighbors? Or are there fun activities for you at your preschool? When your daddy was a little boy, he loved Grumpy taking him door to door, and he would come home with a pillow case filled with all sorts of goodies. As soon as Daddy went to bed, Grumpy would eat lots of those treats, but Daddy didn't notice, because there were always lots more.

Here's your Daddy taking you trick or treating on your very first Halloween - he ate your treats because you were too little to eat them yourself.

Love you forever,
Nan xx

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Who Are We?

Dear Cadee,

Today we received wonderful news from our lawyer. The court appointed child psychologist is going to recommend to the courts that we be allowed to visit you without supervision. You might be wondering who we are? Well, I am Nanou, (your other grandma). I was married to Grumpy (your other grandpa). And I am your daddy's mommy. Uncle Alex and Aunty Dez are your daddy's brother and sister. It is very sad that we have not been allowed to see you, but we cherish all of the brief moments we have been able to spend with you. In future letters, I will try to explain to you as best I can, why we cannot be a part of your life. It is difficult to understand, even for us. But just know, we love you very, very much.
here is a photo of our last visit together on August 11, 2013 - don't we all look happy? 
It is our hope, that one day, when you're old enough, you'll be able to find these letters when you search for your name, and know that we have not simply forgotten about you, and that we love you very much. We have been prevented from seeing you by your mommy, and have tried very hard through the court system to try and make this right for you. The courts have said we may see you, but your mommy has still not allowed this. Perhaps one day, your mommy will change her mind. Until then, I will write you letters to let you know I'm thinking of you.

Love you forever - 
Nan xx